Checking up on those close to you

These are difficult times for everyone, so checking in on friends and loved ones is incredibly important. This pandemic may be affecting everyone in different ways so it's vital to keep an open mind to what people may be feeling. You can do this in many ways - ring a friend, have a video call, watch tv together on Netflix, have a socially-distanced walk or get a virtual coffee together, but the important thing is spending time with them. This will do wonders for both your mental health and theirs. 

Here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Judgement free - as I said above, everyone is going through different things. Make sure that you are there and available to listen to your loved-ones problems with no judgement. A lot of time people simply need someone to vent or rant to! 

  • Validate - knowing how to talk to someone who is struggling is tough, especially if you can sympathise but not empathise with them and simply don’t know what it feels like to be in their position. Validation is recognising someone else’s emotions and thoughts even if you can’t fully understand it. This can go a long way to helping someone feel acknowledged and heard. 

  • Do it regularly - checking in on people is not a one-off event. You need to show them that you are constantly there no matter what. Make a recurring plan that you can stick to and will give you regular quality time to catch up - maybe a weekly walk or zoom coffee or even simply studying together. It gives you and them a sense of stability normalcy in a very strange time, something we all need

  • Reflect on yourself - being there for people is incredibly important, but not when it's at the detriment of yourself. Sometimes we can get emotionally fatigued or exhausted, and this is completely fine and normal! Take time out for yourself and reflect on your own mental wellbeing. Taking care of your own needs first simply means that you will be able to better support and help those around you. 

These are some questions from Mental Health America that you can ask to check in on people, and indeed, on yourself. 

  1. How are you feeling today, really? Physically and mentally.

  2. What’s taking up most of your headspace right now?

  3. What was your last full meal, and have you been drinking enough water?

  4. How have you been sleeping?

  5. What have you been doing for exercise?

  6. What did you do today that made you feel good?

  7. What’s something you can do today that would be good for you?

  8. What’s something you’re looking forward to in the next few days?

  9. What’s something we can do together this week, even if we’re apart?

  10. What are you grateful for right now?

Sticking together is more important now more than ever, but so is taking care of yourself. As hard as it may be to stick to good habits, try your best. Something is better than nothing - a short ten minute walk is better than not leaving your house at all! Of course, remember to remain safe at all times. Remember, if you need help with your mental health, reach out - it is a sign of strength, not weakness, and there are people who are there to support you!