Developing a social anxiety toolbox

One of the worst effects of a few years of social distancing is the lack of social interactions we have had with people. Especially in the important young and teenage years, interacting with peers plays a huge role in your social development, and these covid measures have meant that social anxiety is much more common. Social anxiety is anxiety that appears often in a social situation, for example, meeting someone new, large crowds, having to interact with strangers or any other social situation. There is a difference between being an introvert and having social anxiety - having anxiety about something means feelings of panic or stress when in certain situations or when having certain thoughts, whereas being introverted is a personality trait and more of a preference. 

There are many things you can do to tackle this. Like any form of anxiety, it can manifest itself as physical symptoms - nausea, a racing heart, breathing heavily or a sinking feeling in your stomach. There are short term things you can do to alleviate these symptoms. A great way to control a lot of these symptoms is breathing techniques, for example, breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 4 seconds, breathing out for 4 seconds and holding again for 4 seconds. Not only does this preoccupy your mind in the counting, but the long and slow breathing forces your heart rate to slow down and reduces the amount of adrenaline your body is producing which is the hormone that makes you feel panicky. Grounding techniques are also great if you feel yourself spiralling, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 method. You name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This again distracts your mind, but also grounds you to your surroundings and environment and can help stop the spiral of anxious thoughts. 

These are not however long term solutions for social anxiety as they do not tackle the root cause of it, which is the fear of certain social situations. Some great ways to try and work on this is to introduce yourself (slowly!) into situations that make you uncomfortable. If you need to, have a friend or someone you trust by your side when you do for support, and remember to not rush yourself! Working your way up is far easier and less terrifying than throwing yourself in the deep end. 

I know this is probably overused, but the power of positive thinking should not be underestimated. Consciously challenging your negative thoughts will mean that it forces you to evaluate why exactly you are thinking that and helps you rationalise the situation instead of spiralling. It seems difficult to do initially, but the more you begin to do it consciously, the quicker it will become a habit and happen subconsciously. It will also help you realise what specific thoughts are they root of your anxiety, and therefore will mean that you are able to tackle it more effectively.

Finally, remember that you are your own worst critic, and nobody is as hard on you as you are on yourself. Progress is never linear, so do not be disheartened at any setbacks you face. Whilst it may seem daunting, telling a loved one about your feelings can help share the burden, but will also mean that they are able to offer you support in the best way possible. If you feel like you need professional help, don’t be afraid to reach out. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness!